It’s just nearing the end of February and this has, both, taken forever and come ever so quickly.
I have not had an experience like this in quite some time. Working on new script (The Book of Will) by Lauren Gunderson, with an incredible cast, in a stunning arts community, in the beautiful (and never-visited-by-me city of Denver)? Yep. This is how to live a life.
It’s been since March of 2013 since I stepped on a stage and something I had not made public to many was, I thought I would not step back on stage for a long, long time. I thought, truly, I would move to film/tv for acting and only write and direct for stage.
This was a stupid idea.
Although 2015 was the kindest it had been to me so far in regards to booking tv and film, AND i’d spent 2013-2014 developing two new world premieres, AND, on top of all that, did a fellowship for directing at The Alliance Theatre followed by a directorial debut with Process Theatre… I think I may have been in denial.
I was tired. I didn’t know if I had the energy nor stamina it took to do theatre well. REALLY WELL. I also thought, when/if I want to go back, It’ll be easy.
What I discovered in Denver:
a) It’s not easy.
b) I miss theatre. A lot.
Theatre made me a better film/tv actor. I offer more because of that background. Fuck. Doing good theatre with good people? Makes me a better writer and storyteller and teacher and conversationalist and world citizen. Doing good theatre with good people makes me patient when doing good theatre with bad people or doing bad theatre with good people or doing bad theatre with bad people.
Why I thought I needed to stop, I don’t know. Like I said, I was tired… and it concerned me. One’s commitment on stage cannot waiver to exhaustion.
I honestly thought that booking film/tv would satiate that performance desire but… film/tv VS theatre for me?
Film/TV is the popular guy asking you out and you can’t believe he knew you even existed and it makes your stomach flutter and you’re nervous and you lose weight because you can’t eat because it’s just too much and then you go out with him and it’s!…Good. It’s fine. It’s nice. Everything went as it should and you got along… but, at the end of the date? You’re still lonely.
But doing theatre is like… being in a relationship. With your best friend. And…Each show has so much love and dedication and the understanding that no matter what, you will make it through together and there will be nights where the sex isn’t always good but it’s great because it’s with theatre which means, tonight might not be good but tomorrow can be. WILL be.
Film/TV doesn’t give you that. You get one chance. And that’s it. I mean you get that one time over and over again within the moment, if you’re lucky… but… just that once.
Anyway. I digress.
My point is, coming back with Lauren’s new script and the cast that sat around that table… was definitely the best way to find my way back ONTO the stage.
Now, if I can just remember how to do this…